Michael’s story
Michael shares his experience of burnout whilst working in the NHS for 30 years. He has found support from expressive writing, mindfulness, and connecting with his friends and family.
"With a refreshed perspective of the landscape, I am now considering options to start a new journey for the next chapter of my life."
Having integrity seems to come with a price. At least, that’s what I discovered! Caring deeply about the value or impact of my work returned a sense of pride. However, when battling against excessive corporate bureaucracy and systems that conflicted with my moral values, there was a finite energy reserve before burnout, exhaustion, and moral injury set in.
With the support of my wife, I resigned from the NHS, where I worked as a Development Manager and Wellbeing Lead, for the sake of my mental health. Unable to switch off from work, bringing home frustrations, and becoming increasingly emotional was taking its toll. I struggled to contain my emotions when discussing issues with friends and colleagues, and would dread going to work.
Leaving work was not an easy decision after 30 years, but those final years left me with no choice. During my employment, studying strategic approaches to mental health and wellbeing within the NHS highlighted the issues, giving me a springboard to stand up for what I had always believed in. However, I wasn’t prepared for the difficult challenges, autocratic opponents, and lack of compassionate leadership.
– MichaelAfter resigning, instead of feeling a sense of relief, the frustrations continued to replay inside my head.
Sleep was not improving and my energy levels were low.
Fortunately, my wife and I had decided to adopt a rescue dog a few months before I resigned. He gave me the push to get out and embrace his playfulness. His energy and joy helped hugely and, after a few months, I began to jot down the niggling frustrations related to work that would surface sporadically during the day and sleepless nights. This type of expressive writing became a cathartic process that continued for many months. Dipping into experience and including references helped to validate my stance. Every new sentence brought me closer to my old self, giving me a sense of relief.
Addressing the issues this way transformed my feelings about events from frustration into elation. I would often use a text-to-speech app to play back what soon became an article, which has helped to rebuild and regain my identity. Other support came in the form of listening to books on mindfulness and practicing simple meditation that focused on breathing or observing the mind. I have always practiced mindfulness in varying degrees, from meditation to simply playing the piano, relaxing in green spaces, or listening to music. These activities are constructive in channeling energy and grounding ourselves, allowing our psyche to relax.
Nearly one year after resigning, I posted the article on LinkedIn and received empathic messages from people who had left the NHS for similar reasons. Sharing this with friends and family has also given others a better understanding of the issues that are sometimes difficult to vocalise. This finalised my journey of dealing with the issues and I felt I could move on, with my energy levels returning back to normal once again.
With a refreshed perspective of the landscape, I am now considering options to start a new journey for the next chapter of my life. In the meantime, being a homemaker, walking the dog, socialising, and ticking off DIY tasks is filling my time and keeping me well.
