Eliza’s story
Eliza, who works in higher education, shares how she navigated burnout as a young professional with OCD and neurodivergence.
"I knew I was stressed, but it was like a ‘chicken or the egg situation’ – was I stressed because my mental health conditions were flaring up, or were they flaring up because I was stressed? "
I’m very happy in my job, so I resisted the idea that I could be burnt out. I knew I was stressed, but it was like a ‘chicken or the egg situation’ – was I stressed because my mental health conditions were flaring up, or were they flaring up because I was stressed?
I was particularly stressed because of challenges and pressure at work. I felt incapable, like everything I touched went wrong. I received reassurance from everyone around me, but didn’t believe it. There was a lot of conflict with stakeholders at the time, which I struggled to navigate. It was a time of change and uncertainty: in my organisation, within my team, with my identity. Over several months, I was growing to understand that I might be neurodivergent.
I kept telling people I was struggling and they said I was great at my job, to not worry. While everyone meant well, I felt like no-one was really taking me seriously. I ended up withdrawing, feeling angry at everything. It got to the point where I could barely respond to an email, feeling like my brain couldn’t process anything anymore. I eventually went to my doctor for help.
– ElizaI was signed off work for three and a half weeks, which feels like nothing when I think back to how awful I felt. I spent a lot of this time discovering mindfulness, exercise, hobbies, and how to implement the ‘Five Ways to Wellbeing’ in my life. I also started therapy for my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and was prescribed an antidepressant.
I was terrified that I might return to work too early and not be able to cope, but my line manager reassured me that I didn’t need to rush. I was able to take things steady and not jump straight back into the tasks I found most difficult. I wasn’t off long enough to get a phased return, but I was encouraged to just do a bit of work at a time. This was a small but really helpful change.
Another thing that helped me return to work is mental health support and monthly coaching through Access to Work. This is helping me to understand my strengths and challenges, and giving me opportunities to check in with a trained professional.
Although my line manager did all the right things – like working with me on a Reasonable Adjustment Plan (RAP) – I feel that workplaces aren’t set up for people who are neurodivergent or live with long-term mental health conditions. My RAP empowered me to advocate for my needs, but I don’t feel it really levels the playing field with my colleagues who don’t live with a disability. I’m lucky that my manager and team are incredibly supportive, however.
Although my wellbeing is my responsibility, it can be draining to constantly ask people to recognise my needs. I think if my concerns were heard, and better adjustments were made earlier on, I might not have reached breaking point. But I have no bad feelings towards that period because I think my brain really needed that time to stop and reassess things.
