Gina’s story

"“I still feel there is a long way to go in my recovery. However, I can see I’m slowly making changes.” "

Looking back at the last ten years, OCD and health anxiety have stolen so much of my life. Holidays, socialising with friends, time for myself – there are countless memories where I’ve been consumed with the fear that this time it is true: I must have cancer and be dying.

My first experience, aged 25, was finding a potentially enlarged lymph node in my neck and needing a routine scan. The doctors weren’t concerned, but the idea of it absorbed my thoughts. All I wanted was reassurance that I didn’t have cancer. The scan wasn’t scheduled for months, so I paid privately. At the time, I thought I was dealing with a medical emergency, but now I see this as my first experience of health anxiety.

After this, similar things kept happening. I’d be living life, and then a small symptom would arise, which would lead me to go to the doctors, doubt and eventually a scan or examination to “prove” I wasn’t seriously unwell. The only comfort I ever got was seeking 100% reassurance from a medical professional, and the period of uncertainty in between drove me, at times, to what felt like a crisis point.

A year and a half ago, I went through the worst period of my life, where, due to a very minor health problem, I developed compulsions. I became inconsolable until I had a scan that even the doctor said wasn’t necessary.

Taking action

Although I appreciated receiving CBT through the NHS, I found it difficult to make progress with a limited number of sessions. I knew I wanted sessions in person without a time limit. I spent many months googling specialist therapists and being nervous to commit. Finally, after finding someone who felt like they fit the bill, I began in April 2025.

My compulsions are so personal and can feel so private and embarrassing that the fear of telling someone and not being understood felt too frightening to bear. But once I built that relationship, which took me around six months, I started to understand the behaviours that kept my anxiety going.

If you told me a year ago that I’d still be having weekly sessions, I would’ve felt disappointed that I wasn’t ‘cured’. But now I see the value of gradual progress, that continuing to push through is a success rather than a failure.

Alongside therapy, having a partner who holds me at my darkest moments, friends who understand, and a doctor I trust all make a huge difference to my progress. Having an understanding employer, who allows me to finish early for therapy, has also made the process feel less daunting.

One thing I get asked a lot in therapy is, “Is this a health problem or a worry problem?” Mostly, it is a worry problem. My therapist will then ask, “What would you do if this were a worry problem? The answer would not be ‘seek reassurance’. It would be to go for a walk, read a book, speak to a friend or do some kind of self-care activity.

I still feel there is a long way to go in my recovery. However, I can see I’m slowly making changes. These changes are showing me that I don’t need to feel sure in order to live my life.

 Information and support

Anxiety disorders Obsessive complusive disorder

Disclosing mental health at work