Burnout creeps up on you

After being promoted to a directorial position at work, Emma hit a critical case of burnout, experiencing symptoms of social withdrawal, chronic pain, and brain fog. She shares tips on how to recover and spot warning signs.

 

The healthcare organisation I worked for has seen lots of ups and downs, with the pandemic playing a huge part — it brought about a whole new meaning to the word ‘busy’. We had a lot of challenges which meant a huge transformational need to make the organisation safe. I was in the thick of it — leading on the improvements, teaching, negotiating, and making sure we were going in the right direction. It was relentless. During this time, I became one of the directors. I had earned it and although we still had a long way to go to achieve what we needed to achieve, I was truly confident we would get there.

So, I just kept going… and going. For every two steps forward, we took one back. I’ve never worked in a tougher environment, and it took every ounce of willpower and resilience I had to keep going.

It’s hard to step up to a director role in an organisation you have grown through the ranks of. Shedding your previous roles and stepping into a new one is tough. People come to see you in another way and expect certain things from you, which don’t always fit with your new role.

Don’t get me wrong — I adapted, I was good at it, and I enjoyed it. The problem was, I was ignoring numerous warning signs that I was heading towards burnout, after so many years of just ‘pushing through’.

"In a meeting, it was confirmed we had improved enough to change our ratings, so the pressure could finally ease.

I cried my eyes out after that meeting and then I broke.

It was as if I’d permitted myself to take my foot off the pedal and when I pumped the gas again, I was running on empty."

– Emma

On the day of my performance review, I walked into my boss’s office and said, “I’m broken, nothing’s working properly.” It was a messy conversation because I couldn’t control my emotions — the floodgates opened. We agreed I’d take two weeks off to rest and then look to come back in. I ended up sick from work for six months because it took that long to recover and rebuild.

Burnout creeps up on you. Twelve months before burnout, I developed acute chest pain, with sky-high blood pressure. My sleep pattern was affected; four hours of sleep was a good night. Headaches and chronic back pain were normal, and my eating habits were a mess.

Six months before burnout, I became snappy with people. I had no bandwidth to think rationally and was fed up every time someone spoke to me. I hated going out; I was too tired, and it took all my energy to get through the day. I relied heavily on a journal, because I struggled to remember important things.

Three months before crisis, I simply stopped caring. Everything just washed over me — I functioned on autopilot, doing what I always did because I had to. It felt like a hole inside and I didn’t have the energy or the inclination to do anything about it.

"By the time I was signed off sick, I wasn’t sleeping at all, feeling permanently wired and tired.

Nothing worked the way it used to; I couldn’t get my mind or body to do what I wanted."

– Emma

I have come through quite possibly some of the darkest and scariest months of my life. Burnout has shaken me to my very core, calling into question the way I have gone about just about everything in my career; how I’ve prioritised different pieces of my life to the detriment of my own health.

Talking therapies in the form of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), followed by coaching, have been two crucial steps in my recovery because I needed to figure out what my triggers were, what was in my control, and which habits I needed to change to take care of myself. I’ve learnt you can’t be your best if you don’t look after yourself.

That was 12 months ago. I’m pleased to say I am now a new person. I consistently sleep seven hours a night. I exercise. My blood pressure’s gone right down and almost all of my chronic pain has gone. I eat properly. My memory is back. I have a life beyond work, changing careers and becoming a leadership and resilience coach.

"If you’re experiencing a lot of stress, my advice is to look after yourself. Don’t sacrifice your wellbeing — you can’t bring your best to the table if you’re not at your best.

If you’re in a stressful job or don’t know how to move forward, seek help, like getting a coach or using talking therapies.

And above all else, view yourself with compassion and kindness — you are not alone."

– Emma

My advice to organisations: don’t put your head in the sand. If it’s a high-stress environment, people will be stressed, so support them to build resilience before it’s too late. Look at the risk factors for burnout — high workload, low resources, significant deadlines. Caring professions are all examples. Put systems in place that reduce the impact of these factors on the health of individuals.

Want to know more about burnout?

Read our latest Burnout Report and access helpful insights and resources for employees and employers.

Find out more

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